Roasting is dangerous business

Green coffee beans are not spectacular.  They have a bland, faded green color and are small and dense.  It amazes me that people discovered how to unlock their potential.  The roasting process is very delicate.  If the roaster cooks the beans for too long, they burn and if he removes them too quickly, they end…

And we’re back.

I’m a terrible blogger.  I can’t say I’m surprised that I have neglected this thing; one of my favorite past times is starting something and not following through.  As a kid, my dad bought me a piano and enrolled me in piano lessons that lasted MAYBE three months.  I also attempted the electric guitar for…

Who has two thumbs and doesn’t give a crap?

Apparently, my mom.  You see, Reader, I received a voicemail from her a couple weeks ago, on a Wednesday morning.  It went a little like this: [the usual Mom stuff] “Hey, Sugar Beet.  Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve called.”  [Long pause] “I’m getting married on Saturday.” Remember, Reader, that I listened to this…

Dr. StrangeFridge, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mold

When milk spoils, it does not magically disappear from the fridge. Don’t scoff, reader.  I never claimed to have deep insights!  This is just one of the truths I’ve discovered recently.  If I don’t clean out the fridge and my roommate doesn’t clean it out, then no one cleans it out.  There is no dairy…

Everybody poops. That doesn’t make it less gross.

I had a poopy day at work today.  Not a shitty day – as far as work days go, today was average.  I helped a somber woman find dresses for a cruise in the Bahamas and a very petite woman find a dress for a rehearsal dinner, which would not be noteworthy except that she…

And unto them, a blog was born

Dear reader, Maybe you’re asking yourself, “what’s the deal with the title?”  Well, I figured, what better way to welcome people to a blog than with a healthy dose of irreverence and self-aggrandizement?  And I thought I’d start off offensive to get it out of my system – let’s see if it works. So what…